And now the waiting begins

I need to update Kokochi so I don't keep giving folks heart attacks with the last title. I got a lot of "oh my god" messages/voicemails. Sorry, but it was fun! ; )

I'm on maternity leave now. I honestly felt like I could continue working, but now that I'm off, I'm realizing I really do need this downtime. I think that working as normal was a distraction for me that was good for my mental stability, but not so good for "welcoming" her (see how I'm avoiding 'Gargle' to give her a chance to shake that?).

I've still got lots to do - steam clean our carpets, wash her baby clothes, dress the crib, get a dresser to put her clothes in, etc. And I will now walk everywhere, do my yoga exercises, have Dav massage my upper ankles (some secret labor inducing spot, apparently) in an effort to coax her out soon. My mom has been here almost a week, and now we're worried she'll be late, thus leaving me with less time during which my mom can help once baby is here.

On a deeper level, I realize I need this downtime to acknowledge this transition. To be honest, I've got some mourning to do about changing my life with Dav that I love - as is -. What is going to happen to our relationship, to my identity, to life as we know it? I know we're not pioneering anything new, but to us, this is huge. So I'm glad to feel this now and sit with it, instead of such feelings hitting me when I haven't slept for days and we've got a new human life on our hands.

Overall, I'm confident we'll do fine. We're pretty go-with-the-flow, and my gosh, we have an incredible group of friends and family all waiting to welcome her and support us! I'm grateful to know we won't be lonely :) It's just so mind-boggling about what is about to happen. And the fact that we can't know/control when she'll come is a good reminder that "she" will be her own individual being doing what she needs to do. I am excited to finally meet her, and peer into her face to see what features are whose. A little Dav and Mie...wow!!