Kokochi

Tesla loving the attention

Marie (Tesla's grandma who takes care of her while I work) brought Tesla in to work. I couldn't believe how excited I felt to get to see my baby in the office! It was like anticipating a new boyfriend coming to pick me up from work. And I couldn't help myself but be so happy to get to share Tesla chubby cuteness with my colleagues. Tesla indeed seemed thrilled by all the attention, staring at everyone, smiling away...of course we all couldn't believe how big she is now.

Ahhhh.

Best view for mommy.

Mieko does it again...

I've been meaning to post this forever but have to do things incrementally in baby steps. Anyway, I received a package from my friend Mieko. We've been here in SF together, back in Tokyo together, then back in SF...now, however, she's living in Tokyo without me...my goodness, we've known each other for quite some time. I have to say I'm the lucky one - in addition to being a very loyal great friend, she has excellent taste. In fashion and also truly in music. So when I was in Tokyo, I got to piggyback on her taste and discover new stuff. In SF as well, whenever she called about some music thing, I'd definitely go as it was always spot on. Anyhow this package...was full of the most amazing exquisite baby stuff, very fashionable, unique and just amazing...straight from Tokyo. I mean, look at those baby pants showing off a story on Tesla's butt. And the poncho is full of delicate details that the pictures don't show well. The coolest were her shades. Tesla's first shades! I immediately thought of Wave Twisters...the girl in it wears cool purple shades, and DJTrip has orange ones, JUST like these. Tesla has no idea how hip she's going to be. For now, she just wanted to take them off... ありがとう。ほんとうに嬉しかった。大事に使います。

since the 2004 days...

Last time I met Mike Popovic was at SXSW in 2004. That was back in the day when moblogging was still new enough that I got to speak at conferences about this hobby of mine! Dav and I knew Mike from even before that when Dav bought his first HipTop so that he and I could maintain a private moblog together to keep in touch while I lived in Tokyo and he in SF. Mike was brilliant and set up hiptop Nation which Dav used too. That was the beginning of such social sharing...Yay for Mike!! Back then, the moblogging technology definitely helped us bear our year apart, and even playfully get to know each other over that year. Anyway, Mike was in town for some work he's doing with Danger. He's been following our Tesla tales so it was great to meet up, show off Tesla, and talk baby talk (he has a cutie 6 year old so talking kid stuff was ok (I hope!)). We went to see the St. Stupid's Parade (why I'm wearing ears ... to be in spirit a bit) Mike, thanks for pinging us. It was short, but I totally enjoyed seeing you. Next time, a meal at our house for sure!

our favorite Doctor Yap

Tesla had her 9 month check-up today. We look forward to seeing Dr. Yap, whom we met when Tesla was just days old. Dr. Yap came in on her rounds for all the newborn check-ups, and Dav and I decided we wanted her for Tesla's regular doctor. Dr. Yap just started her career, so I think Telsa is one of her first regular babies she is in charge of. We get to marvel over Tesla's growth each time, and I get a sense that Dr. Yap looks forward to Tesla visits. She even checks Kokochi! Tesla was born more or less average, then zoomed up to the 90 percentile in weight. Now I'm rather happy to say she's averaged out in all aspects. This sort of growth is typical for breastfed babies. At this point in Tesla's life, average sounds great to me. I do have to say the personal touch from people like Dr. Yap make the gigantic Kaiser machine seem rather normal. Without such personal care, I would not enjoy and trust Kaiser. Next appointment will be after Tesla' first birthday...wow, already?

A good bad day

I had been looking forward to today for a several months because Ellen and I had split costs to fly our sweet Raven down from Portland so we could celebrate her birthday here all together. Raven and I were going to hang today, get our nails done, and watch the sunset together while drinking wine until Ellen could join us after work. We were then going to have a fabulous dinner together. But remember how tired I was feeling? I guess I was coming down with a cold, and unfortunately it hit me last night. It was clear that I needed to lay low today. I was incredibly bummed, but had to say I wouldn't make it to dinner...I still at least got to hang with Raven slow-paced, and did manage to enjoy getting our nails done together. But that was about it. By the time Ellen came to pick up Raven (both dressed perfectly for a fancy night out), I was losing steam fast. Ellen brought tiaras for all of us, so I insisted on a quick picture even though I had no make-up on and felt so tired. I hope they are having a blast now... Actually, Raven and I have the same birthday! But since I've had more than my share of great birthdays, I really wanted to focus on Raven this year. Sigh. I did enjoy getting calls & emails from friends I hadn't heard from for so long. And best of all was this amazing beehive cake Rachel made!! Can you believe it? She and CC delivered it this morning as we shared breakfast. It even had little edible bees flying around. Awesome. Thanks sis!

Tesla's first boo boo

Hit her head on the coffee table.

A day to yawn about...

When I'm super tired, I have little energy to talk/write/blog about it so I realize that I somewhat misrepresent my life with Tesla as if I'm not tired and all is a breeze. I love every minute of it, no doubt about that...but I do have moments when I'm really really tired. Like today. Telsa seems to have her first cold (I say "seems" because I just can't tell what is a cold vs. the teething thing). Anyway, she has a snotty nose that she hates getting wiped, and she is super fussy. She didn't sleep much at all last night so neither did I. At 6am, I finally went into the living room where Dav was trying to catch quality sleep and said, "you go in the bedroom; I need to sleep here." Thankfully he did since I was close to delirious by then. What amazes me is that in the morning, I take a shower, somehow come to life, and am able to go to work. I wanted to write about this fatigue because I feel I should balance out how I "blogument" life with Tesla...for me to remember, and for anyone curious about what it's like with a baby. Obviously it's different for every parent and overall Tesla is easy. But when I have rough nights, the fatigue hits me. And it's not just the one time fatigue as if you partied too late and have to trudge through the next day. The difference is that it's non-stop. I don't get to make it through the day so I can rest later or count on sleeping in late. Tesla is full of life so there's no slowing down. When I get home from work, no matter how tired I am, she needs some hugging, then dinner, then a bath all in time before she gets too sleepy. By the time I cook our own dinner, clean up, check email, I'm ready to crash. I've yet to make it through a movie. I never used to fall asleep without knowing I was doing so; now I frequently wake up realizing I've missed half of whatever we were watching on TV. What I'm trying to communicate is the main difference from before: there is no resting. I just have to live through the fatigue until my body adjusts. The word stamina comes to mind. It's a long stable marathon. I stay pretty active in spite of this, but I am having to be and learning to be stricter about my time. It's very tempting when friends invite me to this and that. And sure I could go to everything but I'd lose my balance big time (I get emotional when too stretched). I've already felt overwhelmed at times. I enjoy it and need my friends, but everything is a much bigger deal now. And although I'm not looking for sympathy, I do feel it's important for folks to know that mommies do so much behind the scenes. Until you're the main caregiver a baby, it's quite impossible to see how much goes into the constant attention needed for a baby...I don't think even Dav knows all the tiny things I do even though he's attentive. So there you have it. It's hard to write all this because I don't want to seem complaining. I truly do love being a mommy and love the care giving part. I do want to, however, include a bit of the reality.

In the end, all that counts is how darn cute and lovable Tesla is. No matter what, it's so worth it!

OMG

My baby is standing! She pulled herself up.

Mommy stuff: milk supply

This is not your general post [and it goes into boobie detail], but it's still news to me and a part of my life so it's here. A few weeks back, I noticed my milk supply suddenly dropped. Where I used to pump out easily 3~4 oz very quickly, I found one day that pump after pump session, I could only squeeze out 1 oz. even after a lot of trying. I would literally have to squeeze my boobs. I had become lazy, since my supply - even after a few months back at work - wasn't a problem. I pumped, but not on a regular schedule...and gradually I had gotten complacent. Then boom...my boobs just weren't producing. I stopped feeling the let down of the milk. I had about a month's supply frozen, and with Tesla almost 9 months, that would mean I could tie her over to 10 months with my milk. My goal has been a year based on research that the benefits of breast milk are still significant for the first 12 months. She started eating solids at 6 months, but I wanted her to have the breast milk benefits until at least her first birthday. Anyhow, I felt more guilty than freaked out. 10 months would have been more or less fine; I just wanted to actively decide that Tesla was ready instead of having to stop due to low supply because I didn't pump regularly enough. After a year, I'll play it by ear, letting her feed for comfort, but easing away from actually 'feeding' on the boob. I wanted that choice for her vs. my boobs calling it quits due to my own negligence. So I pumped more consistently. Every whimper I heard during the night I fed her (to encourage stimulation). At work instead of pumping for 5 minutes and rushing back to work, I sat there for as long as I needed until absolutely nothing came out...and I did that 3~4 times a day. It was like coaxing a dying fire back to life. Slowly and gently. I'm happy to say I'm back in the swing. Not as crazy as before. I don't think I can do 4 oz. anymore. But I can do 2...and over several times a day that means enough for the next day while I'm at work. And I still have the frozen reserve. I feel the let down again...even a little bit of engorgement. I did email La Leche League of San Francisco for advice when it first started. I just got a response. (which was just reference to an online site). I sorta knew what I had to do, but was curious if there was some trick. Waiting for over a week is definitely NOT the answer. Stimulation I think is the most important. Even if nothing seems to come out, just pump pump pump.